Miles of Smiles

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#006699" TEXT="#080000" background="044785a3.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>Canadian Masonic Riders - Masons on the Road</B></FONT><B>    </B><B> |     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Canadian Masonic Riders Masons on the R"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Why Were Here"><U>Why We're Here</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id22.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Heres The Deal"><U>Here's The Deal</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Wanna Ride ?"><U>Wanna Ride ?</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Related Links"><U>Related Links</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Newsletter 3"><U>Newsletter #3</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id26.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Newsletter 4"><U>Newsletter #4</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id27.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Newsletter 5"><U>Newsletter #5</U></A>   |   <B>Miles of Smiles</B>   |   <A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Ride Report 01"><U>Ride Report 01</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id21.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Us"><U>Contact Us</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#3399FF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <IMG SRC="0817f7a0.jpg" border=0 width="127" height="122" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Miles of Smiles</I></div> <bR> <div> Ever hear something that made you stop and give it a second thought?</div> <bR> <div> <B>Pearls of Wisdom ???</B></div> <div> A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will keep you from rolling over and hitting the snooze button and falling back to sleep.</div> <bR> <div> Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.</div> <bR> <div> Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.</div> <bR> <div> Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Just stand closer to the object you wish to view!</div> <bR> <div> Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic.</div> <bR> <div> A next-door neighbour's aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.</div> <bR> <div> Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower.</div> <bR> <div> Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve tham a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about tofu, meat substitutes, etc., tasting like the real thing, they won't notice the difference!</div> <bR> <div> Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent marker so that, when you remove the garment from the washing machine, you can easily locate the area to check that the stain is gone.</div> <bR> <div> Create instant designer stubble by sucking on a magnet and dipping your chin in a bowl of iron filings.</div> <bR> <div> A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the desert.</div> <bR> <div> Convince your neighbours that you have invented a "shrinking device by ruffling your hair, wearing a white lab coat, and parking a Euclid truck outside your house. Then dim and flicker the lights during the evening. Once everyone is asleep, replace the Euclid truck with a Tonka toy truck of the same description. Watch their faces in the morning.</div> <bR> <div> Feed bees orange and ... Presto! ... they make marmalade instead of honey.</div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>